hihIMAn2000: she knows you're valedictorian
hihIMAn2000: and she said you sound cool from what i've told her
hihIMAn2000: like stories when we were little
jUsTpEi8448: what did you tell her?
jUsTpEi8448: oh no
jUsTpEi8448: ....sigh
hihIMAn2000: llol
jUsTpEi8448: now i am the evil sister
hihIMAn2000: nono
jUsTpEi8448: haha
hihIMAn2000: she knows i love you :-P
jUsTpEi8448: i can never forgive myself
jUsTpEi8448: ...we were talking about that last night in ccf
jUsTpEi8448: i was so mean to you
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: it's okaaaaaay
jUsTpEi8448: i had so much hatred toward you
hihIMAn2000: all is forgotten and forgiven
jUsTpEi8448: but i can't forget and forgive myself
jUsTpEi8448: you are such a great friend
hihIMAn2000: :-P
jUsTpEi8448: great brother
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: thanks
hihIMAn2000: i think every older sibling's been like that
hihIMAn2000: zhuoyin always complains about her brother
hihIMAn2000: but she loves him
hihIMAn2000: cause she's always kissing him
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: and i guess i talk about you a lot
jUsTpEi8448: do you?
hihIMAn2000: so even though i don't admit it
jUsTpEi8448: =)
hihIMAn2000: i do love you :-*
jUsTpEi8448: i talk a lot about you too
jUsTpEi8448: aww
jUsTpEi8448: yee
jUsTpEi8448: i am going to cry
hihIMAn2000: stop it
hihIMAn2000: or i'll beat you with a stick
jUsTpEi8448: i am crying now
hihIMAn2000: fucking
hihIMAn2000: stop
hihIMAn2000: STOP IT
jUsTpEi8448: i am sorry
hihIMAn2000: stop crying
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: so yeah...
jUsTpEi8448: yee.....
jUsTpEi8448: thank you so much for being my brother
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: i guess i didn't have a choice in being born :-)
hihIMAn2000: so thank the mother
hihIMAn2000: and father
hihIMAn2000: god bless america
hihIMAn2000: god bless the family
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: now now
hihIMAn2000: stop crying
hihIMAn2000: *pat pat*
jUsTpEi8448: ok...
jUsTpEi8448: aww, yee
hihIMAn2000: i've grown up a lot, havent i? :-D
jUsTpEi8448: yeah
jUsTpEi8448: and i am still at the same state
hihIMAn2000: or just the fact that you've never talked to me online
hihIMAn2000: actually
hihIMAn2000: i think i've learned a lot since last year
jUsTpEi8448: since i am here?
hihIMAn2000: i guess
hihIMAn2000: or just a lot of things happened
jUsTpEi8448: yeah
hihIMAn2000: or better yet
hihIMAn2000: nothing's changed much
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: so it gave me a lot of time to think stuff over
jUsTpEi8448: mm, perhaps that's the reason
hihIMAn2000: i'm glad i got my head outa the gutter though
jUsTpEi8448: i can't believe that we are so close now...
jUsTpEi8448: me too
jUsTpEi8448: i am glad for you
hihIMAn2000: even though we're so far away :-P
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jUsTpEi8448: me and mandy definitely fit together
jUsTpEi8448: hehe
jUsTpEi8448: and ccf
jUsTpEi8448: that's like my fun part of life
hihIMAn2000: well it's good to find someone you feel like you belong
jUsTpEi8448: i can find my childish innocence in ccf
hihIMAn2000: or some group
hihIMAn2000: not someone
jUsTpEi8448: i can be a little girl in that group...and everyone will look after me
hihIMAn2000: lol
jUsTpEi8448: i like to be protected all the time
jUsTpEi8448: even though i don't like to depend on others
jUsTpEi8448: ha
hihIMAn2000: that's weird
jUsTpEi8448: i know
jUsTpEi8448: or maybe i like to depend on others
jUsTpEi8448: but i don't want to admit it?
jUsTpEi8448: lol
jUsTpEi8448: so that people will see that i am strong?
hihIMAn2000: probably
hihIMAn2000: you and your faking it
jUsTpEi8448: yeah
jUsTpEi8448: i think so too
jUsTpEi8448: that's not good
jUsTpEi8448: i just want to be someone i am not?
jUsTpEi8448: ...why?
hihIMAn2000: that's not how you put it
hihIMAn2000: because nobody wants other people to think they're weak
jUsTpEi8448: huh?
jUsTpEi8448: mm...
hihIMAn2000: you're not trying to be someone you're not
hihIMAn2000: you're just "afraid to get hurt"
hihIMAn2000: lol
hihIMAn2000: because you're all emo inside
jUsTpEi8448: um...no i am not...
jUsTpEi8448: fine
jUsTpEi8448: i lied

mm...isn't it amazing how someone can grow in less than a year? sigh... my little brother...lol. he's such a great guy. i am really ashamed of myself sometimes... how could i be so mean to him? the way he forgives me makes me feel so ashamed of myself. he has such a big heart... why can't i be more like him? even if he gets really mad, he'll just go to his room and stay there until his anger is gone... me, on the other hand, spread my anger onto everyone around me. i am definitely not what people think i am, at least i don't think so. do i wear a mask in front of people? hmmm...