i finished reading the turn of the screw last night... it was a very disturbing story. at some points of the story, i think the governess is totally insane, while at other parts of the story, i feel that she's truely seeing the evil ghosts who are trying to corrupt the two innocent kids. i wish i can read Henry James' mind and find out why exactly he wrote the story. (I wish i can see through everyone's mind...)

ah...this morning, i was woken up by the songs of the birds outside. i was surprised to see the sun shining brightly outside for a change, but decided that my bed is more comfortable than the bright sun and fresh air outside. i didn't get up until 10:30am. i feel like i just wasted the golden hours of the morning. I sat down and read a little bit of the Bible because I promised to read it. I think I'll read some more tonight because i want to learn and know.

the sun disappeared in the afternoon... a big thunderstorm. the floor was shaking. i saw an ant on the floor... sigh... the lost ant. i thought i was going to flush it down the toilet after i "guided" it to a piece of tissue, but I didn't. it would be too cruel to kill the little thing. maybe it was just looking for a shelter from the pouring rain. so, i opened up the front door, and shaked it off from the tissue to the front porch where the ground was not that wet (so it doesn't drown). bye bye little huge ant... don't come in again! (i was cruel enough to send the little 6-legged insect back to the rain...away from the shelter)

got to tell dad to check his mailbox for pictures that i sent to him yesterday... haha... i found out that he really enjoys to tease me and hear me giggle.

"dad, check your mailbox! i sent you pictures last night."
"ok. i didn't see it when i got to the office, maybe it'll get here later" (it was 7:30am, and he was already in the office! nobody is there until 8am.)
"yeah, i took pictures of the road, mom and a lot of pictures of myself, haha, because i was bored."
"yeah? it's ok. i know you are pretty. how can i not fall in love with my little girl? right?" (yes...it sounds a little awkward in english, but it is the best translation i can give you)
"right. (giggles)"

sigh... my dad... haha. (shaking my head disapprovingly) tss tss tss. he wish me to always stay in a "pretty" mood (or "mei mei de xin ching" <-- spelling?)

mom and i took a walk after dinner. she's already starting to worry about selling the house (well, it's not really a house, but anyways) and how yee and i will "survive" alone by ourselves when she's back to taiwan next year.

"maybe i'll sell this place and get a new place in california so yee and you will have a place to stay at during vacation..."
"well, aunt said that we can just go to her place. she won't mind. me and yee are quiet enough so uncle should be able to take it. she wrote me a card for thanksgiving saying that no matter where we will be in the future we should always go to her place to celebrate holidays because we are one family, the only family here. don't worry, mama. wait until we know where yee's going to college, then you can decide. it is too early to decide now."
"maybe i'll stay here"
"mm...maybe...but i think it would be better if you go back and be with baba... he's expecting you to be there next year. isn't that what you had agreed on? yee and i will be ok here, i am sure. but...baba would be heartbroken if he finds out you don't want to go back. he's all alone there... he has been all alone by himself all these years. besides, you two should be together all along."
"yeah... i think you are right. (silence)" she turned her face away from me, intentionally, i think, so i wouldn't see what's in her eyes. it'll be hard for her next year. i know. she'll be torn by the two groups (husband vs. kids), both of which she loves extremely. i need to think of a way to make her feel more at ease at leaving us here in the States next year.

well, that's it for now...