what should i do when a friend sounds really depressed? i feel so helpless when that happens... just to listen to "whatever" makes me so sad. the word "whatever" makes me think that nothing is important, nothing will ever matter, life doesn't matter, etc. it makes me think about suicide and death. yeah, the connotation of that single word is absolutely dark and negative, to me at least. i know, i should just be a listener instead of an advice giver. it is always good to listen before speak. getting the whole picture is better than getting pieces of the picture. the picture wouldn't be complete if it has pieces of the puzzle missing, would it?

mom is SOOOOOOOO adorable tonight. we were sitting and watching this movie on TNT called "Prince Charming" and this other movie called "French Kiss" (we switch channel whenever the commercials are on)... mom was munching on snacks, and she asked me, "why didn't you eat the banana chips that I bought? i thought you like them." "yeah, i like them, but i am not hungry now," I responded that way, as usual. Ok...now i felt bad after I said it because she was probably expecting me to munch on the banana chips since I like them. I better not make her disappointed since she went all the way to the Korean market in Fort Lee to get my snacks. I went to get the banana chips, spending some time wristling with the wrapping of the container because i couldn't find scissors to cut the wrapping open. Finally, i was victorious and went back to the living room munching on my banana chips just to make her feel good. In the middle of the movie, she poked me lightly on my arm. "what?" i looked at her totally puzzled, and i saw her eyes staring at my banana chips. She extended her hands to me...so i gave her a chip of it. "Just ONE???" my mom asked. "Oh, you want more? haha. ok." So i gave her a few more. Sorry, I didn't know that the few more chips were the "small" pieces of the regular larger chips. She looked very dissatisfied. "fine...ok, here's the whole boxful of chips," i handed her the container, and she grabbed a handful. After a while, she starts to complain to me, "sigh, i should go out and take a walk. i can't stay home, or else i'll be eating constantly like right now. so bad..." 5 minutes later, she started poking me again, looking at my chips... I looked at her from the couch while she's half sitting and half lying on the floor (b/c the couch is too soft for her) and I started this devilish smile of mine. muwahahaha. she was just like a LITTLE KID!!! "nope," i said with this smile on my face, "weren't you saying you don't want to eat constantly? hehehehe." LOL. the even worse thing that i did was...i was rubbing her stomach with the banana chip container trying to make her crave even more. Ok, ok, ok...i know, i am REALLY BAD, but she was SOOOOO CUTE. I couldn't stop teasing her. "don't you want the banana chips now, mom?" "no..." said she weakly while the food is right in front of her. "no? haha" "yeah, no, i DON'T want it..." the way she said it was just like a kid getting mad but trying not to show the desire of wanting the thing. hahahaha...i adore her. ok, maybe i do know why everyone says that she's cute. =)

good enough for the day, i think. =) i'll enjoy the time at home. to really think about it, i won't be home too often anymore... especially "home" is going to be in taiwan some time after the next summer... if home is where mom and dad are. i must learn how to be more appreciative and be more thankful of the things i have now.

goodnight for now.