seriously......mood down to the bottom of the pit here.

just called mom to see how grandma is doing. fever has gone down a little bit, but now, heart rate is irregular... i am so mad at Chance... WHY does this have to happen to her? ARGH. I want to throw and hit things for no reason... Don't ask me to smile, because I have no intention or desire to smile right now. Please don't take a picture of me... Go away. Why does this have to happen to a 91-year-old intelligent woman? She was fine and healthy a whole week ago, and now she's in bed...confused...feverish... I want her to get better.... If I have the chance, I would right now, just buy a ticket and fly back to Taiwan, right at this moment, just to sit by her bed and hold her hands even if she starts yelling at me for no reason. i want her to get better. she has to get better... she must.

i just want to cry... i am going back to taiwan...for sure in the summer... even for two weeks...a week and a half. i don't care.