one of the most embarrassing that can ever happen to me happened tonight... it's that time of the month when i get emotional easily, but what happened tonight had nothing to do with my emotion. i totally forgot about the usual fear when i have my period... well, today, it happened. a little blood stain on my jeans........NOOOOO... so, i walked back home and washed it. you know how hard it is to wash blood stain? dude, let me tell you, it is hard....

so, today, i found out about something new. something i was expecting to hear, too... i guess. i am not sure how to describe the feeling though. it is mixed... kinda sad that i wasn't told about it until much later (which, i think happen pretty frequently, since i am so oblivious to the world around me sometimes)... kinda happy for two people whom i know. kinda feeling defeated...but i think the strongest feeling is that feeling of relief, like a huge heavy rock finally falling to the ground. it's been suspending in the air for quite a while. i heard what i wanted to hear. i think that's what i wanted to hear. then when everything settles down to the bottom, all you wish for is the best for those who are involved in it. you wish for happiness. and you quietly leave the scene that belongs to someone else's life, because you don't want to dirupt the balance and the peace. it's a part of life. somewhere down the road, you enter the stage of another person's life, play your role, and leave...move on to find your own stage. perhaps, i have already found my own stage... there was a very good symbol in Tom Hank's movie "road to something" i can't really remember the title of the movie... but he and his son were driving in the middle of nowhere, and they came upon this intersection. yeah? is that the movie? maybe this is the time for me to choose which road to take when i am standing at the intersection. it is a good lesson in life. don't you think so?

have you ever watched "French Kiss" or "You've Got Mail" with Meg Ryan in them? Have you ever noticed the way she walked in those two movies? Well... that was like how i walked tonight, when i walked back from the library. It was...bubbly...in a way, big strides, swinging hands (probably due to the amount of stuff in my hands). there was a sense of resolution... something was accomplished although definitely not the studying part. ha.

ok, jump to another subject...

i am starting to wonder if all epidemiologists in MSU have COOOL ACCENTS and COOL verbal/facial expressions. i like how epidemiologist talk. very intelligent, funny, tall, not bad looking... i wish i could be as intelligent as they are. they are just cooool. wayyyy cool.

this prof. speaker introduced himself as "Hi, i am matt" when Rip asked him to introduce himself to us. lol. what kind of introduction is that! that is just coool. lol. it reminded of me of Yee a little bit.

anyhow... i should go to bed and get up early to study. goodnight all. wish you all have a very nice evening.