i am blogging right now, at 2:23am...

i just talked to some good friends from elementary school. :). they made my day so much brighter and happier... i miss them. sometimes, i wish i could go back in time and stay in time, so that i could stay with them longer and be happy. i don't know. hanging out with them or even talking to them make me feel like i am back to my old self again. they kept calling me "foreigner"...since my chinese is so bad now. hehe. i don't mind them teasing me nowadays anymore... it's fine. it's been 10 years...

i don't know what i am feeling now either. maybe i am just too tired right now, and i just need to go to bed.

i think i am in love. i think...i am not sure if i am really in love. can somebody tell me? what does it feel like to be in love? i wish there is a book that can explain what it feels like. i am building a dependency on someone else, and i don't think it is going to be very helpful in the long run. think about it... pei is going to go to med school (finger crossed and pray for me, please) somewhere in the US... she is going to be really busy... where will the guy be? he doesn't know. she doesn't know either. how is the change of life style going to keep them together? how is the distance going to keep them together? i am thinking too much right now. nothing is happening currently. i shouldn't be thinking so much about it... i guess it will just take a lot of effort to keep it. will i be able to stick to it? knowing myself...i think...i should be able to stick to it with my will and my sentimental self... but will i have enough trust and confidence in him? i guess...it doesn't really matter to think about it right now. that's going to be in the way future... who knows what will happen in the future? and even if it doesn't turn out the way i want it to be, it is not going to be the end of the world. i'll learn something new again. maybe it will be a memorable event in my life to think about when i get old.

i always wonder...what happen to people whom i had crushes on...

maybe this will become one of them some day...

i am going to bed. g'night.