nothing new has happened yet...

dad came to the US to visit us and he went back. i drove mom and dad to LA to visit Yee... dad seemed to have a good time, talking to yee...

i...on the other hand...am often losing control of my own emotions... i can't seem to contain it within myself, and i cry a lot. like now... i don't really know what to do. every time i think about school...i cry... every time i think about him...i cry...even when i am on the phone with him. when i read a good book about strong women, i cry... i don't know why i am in this kind of constant sadness. nothing seems interesting to me.

what's wrong with me?

maybe i should have stayed in school until the end, so life at least could be challenging...

maybe i am just too lazy to find a change in life. it makes me scared. what's becoming of me? i hope i'll not become someone dependent on another for the rest of my life. i hope that i'll not be helpless and useless either...

i look at my reflection from the computer's screen...and...i don't know. i don't see myself... i guess i can't really regret too much... i should be the one taking charges of my own life right now, so it can be more useful...

hmmmm......