Good Morning!

ahh...another sunny, cloudless day. =) (God is shining on me) Dad is happy that my meetings went well, and he even said that the guy's really mature from what he said to me by the lake. He will not have to think and worry about someone hurting me. Twas all good.

By the way, last night's CCF event was to go and see Bruce Kuhn's performance. He is such a great actor... I think it makes the Bible more interesting to read after seeing this.

Something that I typed at the study group room in the 3rd floor of the W. Wing Library. (10:30AM to 4:30PM)

Mom told me one day, ¡§Pei, remember never to give up your career when you get married, even your beloved husband asks you to.¡¨ She said it from her heart, ¡§I gave up mine, because my job was nothing compared to your dad¡¦s, but I wish I had a real career¡K I quit my job and become a house wife, taking care of you kids and your dad, and I have loving kids and husband¡Kbut there always seemed to be missing something.¡¨

I admire Mom a lot¡K She really sacrificed herself for the family, because she loves us. The other side of the story is that she never really has any dreams¡K She lost all her personal dreams and goals, things that she once dreamed she would do are all lost, lost in the years raising us. It is very sad¡K Nowadays, her dreams are to win the lotto (the slimmest chance) and to see that we (Yee and I) reach our dreams. Hope, I guess, is all she can do. She doesn¡¦t find anything interesting to her any more. It seems to me that life to her is just bleak, nothing ever happens. She doesn¡¦t have any desire of buying new clothing for herself or putting on make-up or read¡K She works in a place that she absolutely despises; she works only for insurance and killing time. From time to time, she would meet some nice people in the store and become friend with them. That¡¦s the only thing that makes her happy. She doesn¡¦t smile much; she rarely laughs heartily. I once asked her what she always wanted to do in her life, and she told me that she never got it¡K As soon as she found it, she got married and quit what she liked to do, working in the airline agency and travel to places. I suppose she did the right thing, what else can you say, that she gave up all her youth and dreams to make the family strong, but there is always going to be a big piece missing in her life. She gave all to us and never really got to enjoy herself¡K I would think that she regrets that a lot. I want her to be happy, too.

¡§Pei, you will become a doctor. If you quit being a doctor, the thing you have always worked so hard for and dreamed for so long, and become like me, there would be no point of sending you to medical school and receive all the education. No matter how much he says he love you and care for you, stick to your dreams¡K Of course, you two will have to compromise and work together as a team. A family is the work of two people, not just one.¡¨

I don¡¦t want to be like her¡K Not that I don¡¦t want to take care of my kids (if I have any) and husband¡K There is no absolute (ok, Jared, in this case there is no). There must be a way to do both family and career. I think I value family over all things, but career, the one thing that belongs to me personally, is also very important to me. I want to grow old and be able to look back and say to myself, ¡§I am so content with my life. I have everything that I ever wanted in my life, a great family and a great career.¡¨ I want to be proud of myself at the end when I die, and know that I made a difference in many people¡¦s lives and at the same time accomplished all that I ever wanted to do.

The German lady told me yesterday while I was sitting with her in the court yard¡K She said, ¡§Pei, you should always stick to your dreams/goals. If you know what you want to do, you should be determined. Exert your determination; do not be swayed by others.¡¨ She tested me right away. She begged me to give her the beans found in the sun-dried pods on the ground because she wants to eat them. I said, ¡§No, you will eat it. This might be poisonous.¡¨ She promised many many times that she won¡¦t eat it, until I softened up and gave it to her¡K As soon as I handed over the bean, she was putting it into her mouth. Thank God that I reacted fast enough and pulled her hand away, and say, ¡§No, don¡¦t eat it. It is dirty and not cooked.¡¨ She smiled and laughed at me. (sigh¡KI felt stupid.) She reminded me again of what she just said, ¡§Stick with your decision once you made it, no matter what happens.¡¨

What are dreams? I suppose it is like the hope in life. Once you lose it, you don¡¦t have hope any more. Life would be meaningless without dreams and hopes. Wouldn¡¦t it? There would be nothing to live for. There would be no motivation to do anything. What is the meaning of life? Human beings have the power to dream, to think, to act upon it. If one no longer has dream, there is nothing to ponder, and therefore, nothing to work for.

Here is a really good song by Tao Ze (David Tao) called ¡§I believe.¡¨ (I think it is the theme song for the Disney movie ¡§Dinosaur,¡¨ the Chinese version.) I think I am going to try to translate it into English, since I don¡¦t know how to use the letter to spell out the Chinese pronunciations.

In my sight, there is a hazy light directing me to find the dream in my heart
everyday i need a little more courage


i know this road is going to be hard, but need to face all these no matter how exhausting it is going to be
i believe that one day, i will be able to make all of my dreams come true
i know that one day, my hope in life will appear in front of my eyes
will no longer doubt, because love exist in my heart
coz i believe
coz i believe

need to see clearly, because i get lost easily
following the dream,
let the future shine
i am not afraid of being wrong
but only fear that i know the truth but dare not taking the action
i will never give everything up easily

i know this road is going to be hard, but need to face all these no matter how hard it is going to be
i believe that one day i will be able to make all of my dreams come true
i know that one day, my hope in life will appear in front of my eyes
i will no longer doubt, because love exists in my life

i believe that today i have made all of my dreams come true
never will have to doubt, because love exist in my life
coz i believe

in front of my eyes, all of my dreams have accomplished
i can see clearly
see clearly
because I believe

Yep...and Ms. D and I went to fly kite on the 4th level of the Kellogg Parking Lot across from Brody. It was FUN! Once the kite is really up in the sky, it is no you who controls the kite but more like the kite is controlling you... It was interesting. I think flying kite is really relaxing... definitely a good way to think about things. (6:30PM-8:30PM)