It is quite amazing how there is already a pile of things waiting for me to do as soon as I got back to school, e.g. the paper waste on my desk, getting books and groceries, csc stuff, etc.

i feel really bad that i am not doing a good job in csc (personal feeling), because I don't think I am decisive enough. I always want to listen to what everyone has to say and make sure that our events don't run into conflict with other group's event. I focused on the tiny details and forget about why I was doing it from the beginning. Then, of course, nothing gets done. I should go back and be a secretary, because I like to work organize stuff, except my desk. I realize that in order to have an event happening there are so many things to consider, such as room, food, regulations and rules, time, and most importantly $$$. Realistically speaking, money is basically the basis of all the planning. It is all about how to make the most use out of the limited piggy bank while holding onto the csc beliefs (or to be more exact, the csc e-board beliefs).

other than this stress thing falling on my head...and knowing it is already too late to save it. i think i should move on with my life and forget about this. that was the past and a learned experience that hopefully, by the end of the semester, i will be able compile an draft of the csc e-board manual for next year's officers, whoever they will be, so that they won't be as lost as I was and won't waste time trying to work around the rules and the regulations. sigh...

sometimes...traditions have to be broken, and old beliefs need to be crushed in order to have the birth of innovations, in order to survive. traditions and beliefs can prevent creativity sometimes... maybe we'll find something else different and more meaningful to do instead of what we've always done.