When would you describe someone as "actively dying"? The patient that I was going to visit is currently "actively dying"... I haven't even met the man... I want to visit him and to just be there as a support for him and the family. What can I do to make him feel that he still has his human dignity? Nobody would want to die without dignity... I want to send him a card, but what should I write in it? "Get Better Soon" does not seem to be appropriate at this point of time if he is declining at this rate... the breath of life is fleeing. It doesn't seem like there is any chance for him to get better any time soon, because he is dying... Let's hope that he will go to a better place when that time does come. Everyone will eventually reach that point in life, and it is just a matter of "when"... I wish I could say something that's worthwhile saying, but there isn't that much I can say. How should I react to this kind of situation now and in the future? It is a really heavy thing to bring up...

Speaking of human dignity... My dad was talking to me about it during the time of his visit. We were talking about death in the surgery room, and how helpless he felt when someone he was working with died. He called the other doctors to help, but they were there for 2 hours without any good news. They never figured out why the patient died. He also witnessed a patient with esophageal cancer who had to go through an open "body" surgery to take out a piece of the intestine to replace the cancerous esophagus (so the chest was opened up too). The man woke up with horrible pain and lots of tubes in and out of the body. After a few days, they had to see if everything is working the way it is supposed to work. The man struggled so much just to "cough up" the tube in order to start manually eating by himself. It was a painful scene. He lived a little longer, but not much longer. He passed away soon afterwards because the cancer had spread to his brain. He died with machines and tubes. The fragile sick body was exhausted from being handled roughly and from the surgery. Dad said to me, "If I were ever get the esophageal cancer, don't even try to use surgery to save me. It is not worth the pain. I want to die like a man with dignity." I agreed... For some reason, it was a really solemn and quiet moment. It was a statement of how he wanted to die if he were to get really sick like that man. I didn't want to hear it, because I wasn't ready to hear that yet. Dad is still too young to be talking about it... Even though I agreed, I wasn't quite sure how exactly I would react to it if this time ever comes... There will be a lot of emotional factors involved in this issue. There will be a struggle between the emotional self and the rational self and a struggle between life and death. As depressing as it can be, it is usually the family who becomes the one to decide how the sick person is going to die... We make this such a big deal, and it is just a part of life. If I were to choose, I would rather die with dignity...and donate my organs if they are still usable to the ones who will benefit. We medicalize death, but in reality, life and death is only separated by a thin line.

it's something to think about... pray for the old man.