frustration.

i just went and saw the Village with Mandy, Emily, and Al... it was alright. Interesting turnout at the end. it was very cute how Ivy and Lucius fell in love though... I wish I would one day find a caring person like him.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just too blind. I wonder if it is the way I talk... I think I am too selfish. Sometimes I don't mean to blame....but maybe when I talk the words become sharp and ugly... Maybe I should backdown a little. Am I too aggressive? Do I intimidate people when I talk to them? I must be very weird in some people's eyes. i am trying to be a good friend. i am really trying... i am sorry if i don't call you often, but i do think about you guys when i am not doing any school works... i do wonder how things are going with you... sigh... i wish i can go back to elementary school.

dad asked me if i have any "emotional life" now... the answer is still "zero." I wonder when he's going to stop asking me. I don't know why he keeps asking me about it all the time. He tells me to tell him the news when it happens, but i have decided that there isn't going to be any in the near future. and then i was reminded of the more important thing...the MCAT. yes. I know. I have to study harder for it this time. i have to.

very disorganized thoughts, as you can tell.

and a change in life... i squeezed out tears from my dried tear glands yesterday... it felt good. I am not dead yet... there is still something alive.