Affectionate- adj. 1 obs: INCLINED, DISPOSED 2: having affection or warm regard: LOVING 3: proceeding from affection: TENDER.

That is the definition of affectionate in the Merriam Webster collegiate dictionary 10th edition.

What does it mean to me? What does it mean to show affection to the people I love?

After being in America for 8 years (or about), I have become a more "physical" person if you will, meaning I am more used to hugging people and being hugged by people whom I love. I give random squeezing hugs to my brother whenever I am in a good mood. The only down side to hugging him is that he's bony, so it can be a pretty uncomfortable thing to do. I extend my arms wide open and hug my mom more often and tell her how much I love her randomly while i rock sideway with her back and forth. I think she likes it.

There is less hugging between dad and I, since he's so far away. The only time when I get to hug him is usually at the airport when he arrives and leaves the US or when i arrive and leave Taiwan. I like holding his hand, especially when I was younger. I liked to hold his index finger when my hands were small... (Later, i found out how uncomfortable that must had been for him. my little cousin held my index finger when we walked on the street...it felt very weird.) For some odd reason, holding his hand made me feel safe. I liked to look at the lines on his hand and feel the rough texture of his hand... Hands fascinate me... (my pet peeve of examining people's hands when i first meet them.) It is one of the first thing you use when you make a contact w/ another individual in life, i.e. hand shake. Dad plays w/ my fingers early in the morning when he tries to wake me up. He tells me how chubby and cute my fingers are... then, he measures the width of my wrist and arm to see how big i've become, comparing my current size to my size when i was a baby. yes, they are pretty fat for a person of my size. no, i don't think i have large bones, but they come from playing the piano, from exercising, so i tell him. that's how dad and i show affection to one another.

affection is physical in this sense... the hugging, the holding of hands, the playing w/ fingers, the cuddling, the kissing, etc... i don't mind it, as long as it is from the people i love. i don't mind giving it, as long as it is to the people i love. it may not be as exaggerated as how others do it, but that's my way of expressing love. perhaps everyone has his or her own way of showing affection; some are more obvious, others are less.

however, tender affection can be a nonphysical thing, too, nonphysical as in w/o physical contact. What about the things a person does for another out of pure love and care? An example would be cooking food. My mom cooks delicious meals for us and dad out of her loving nature... she spends time doing grocery shopping and planning what to make for us so our tummies would be satisfied w/ nutritious and tasty food. It is a nurturing kind of affection. What about the affection a guy shows to a girl when he removes a strand of hair that comes loose and covers her big bright eyes? What about the way they look at one another? there are much much more to affection, i think, and the physical part of it is just the icing on a cake to make it sweeter.

sometimes it is inappropriate to show affection to another person. perhaps, i am just a little too old fashioned, as i said before, i should be living in the 18th century china. for me, it is awkward to show physical affection to a friend whom i actually like a lot...or whom i am obsessed with (if you want to call it that, you may). the obsession part is already very um... in emi's term, "wrong," i think that's how she would put it. how can i show more affection to him if he's only a friend? it seems inappropriate for me to do so. What if i overdo it and give him the negative impression of me? he is neither a family member nor a boyfriend/husband (well, the boyfriend and husband part is a different story...i've never had a boyfriend nor husband. i don't know how i would react if i did have one)... is it possible that i am just playing hard to get and testing the person's patience? no. that's never my intention. what if the physical contacts i have w/ him just reminds him of someone else? i don't want to be a rebound girl... i can't and will never be like someone he loved before. i don't think my friend would do this to me, but i want him to be sure as well. so i put the affection away and let the rational brain takes over the sentimental mind.