why am i here blogging? everything is just so ordinary here... i brood over the same thing over and over, again and again. what's the point? nothing exciting at all.

the sky is gray & the rain is pouring. people still go to the commons in rainy days and buy things. nothing ever stops them, ever. i wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, walk around helping people, listen to my coworkers talking about their lives and the people around them, eat food and read, clean the place, & come back home. am i always complaining how boring life is over here? i think i am... sigh. what's WRONG with me? i should be happy to be home which i have been waiting for for the past whole year! and now, i have it, but i am not content. i am so greedy...but i don't really want material things. i just want something comforting and filling...maybe i'll go read...

i think i want to call cristina again tomorrow and see what she's up to...i need someone to hang out with... maybe that's what i need. (sigh...the phone...i am not a phone person. i never know what to say... not that i know what to say when i face someone... well, gotta learn how to use the phone sometime, somehow...)

do i even have my own personality? own opinion? my own sense of self?

that's it for now...don't really know what to say or do...i think i am just going to take a bath and read...