happy birthday to yee. little brother is 17 today (august 16).

mom: he's not my baby anymore! (pretending to "wail" while we walked back home from the parking lot)
yee: ehh...
pei: mom! what do you mean that he's not your baby anymore? OF COURSE he is... he'll always be your baby until you die
mom: yeah, i know i know, but not "little" anymore (with a gesture to show the "littleness" of a baby's height). sigh.
pei: but why would you want a baby that small? he can't talk, he can't tell you what he wants, all he can do is cry...i don't know why you want him to be a baby...

but of course i know what she meant...coz yee's not "little" anymore... he has his own thought and own life ahead. he's no longer dependable anymore, so of course she's going to feel a little insecure and empty. the "empty nest syndrome." i like him better now than before. lol. he's one of my "bestest" friend now. no wonder some people say that "love" sometimes come from appreciation (in case if you don't already know, i did not like him when i was little). the more i appreciate him being here for me whenever i need him the more i love him and the more open i become to him and the more i trust...of course that's all condensed together sometimes that it is really hard to explain what exactly it feels like. i am just so happy that he's here...not somewhere far away...which was something i dreaded a few years ago. i think maybe it was at that time that i realized i need him to be here and that i actually love him more than i think i did. sometimes i want to hug him and squeeze him (except that it would be kinda awkward if i really did it...and he's somewhat bony).

am i fortunate or what? =) my childhood "enemy" is growing up and has become my closest friend... i am so lucky.