sparlking water droplets hanging on the tree stems, humid white fog covering the world from above... I walked alone from the library back to my dorm tonight for the first time in the semester. The night was not silent. There was melted snow/crunchy ice running in the river accompanied with the occasional cry of a few quacks from the msu ducks and the startled rustling sound from the night creatures disturbed by my steps. it was peaceful in a sense...not a soul in my path, except a few night owl smokers standing in front of the dorm doors. i was actually amused by the two racoons by Owens... They were chubby and cute, but they disappeared into the darkness in a second. I wondered if i had the ability to spot their shining black eyes that glowed in the dark... nope. I wasn't one of those special superheroes who had the special ability to spot the glowy watchful eyes.

i wondered...

what if i fell at that particular instance...backward, would someone come and catch me? or what if a car with a drunk driver on a monday night ran me over... would i be saved? or bled... i wondered and then erased the silly thoughts in my mind. Nah... why am i thinking about all these stupid things in the dead of the night. there was no car...and there was no ice for me to slip. what was i thinking?

sometimes...i feel like i am just trying to hide from people by studying... i admit, i am a horrible friend. :-/. i haven't given much of my time spending with friends... No. I have to study, I said to them. Sorry, I will be late, there is blah blah blah that i have to do first. No, I don't like it. Excuses. I am just hiding in the jungle of the "must-do things." Perhaps my priority is all wrong? friends... I used to think that they were the only people whom I would ever need in my life... what changed me throughout the past 7-8 years? Why have I adapted the aloofness? I miss my old self. I wish life doesn't have to get so complicated. Whines again. sigh. I should accept my life as it is right now and try to adjust it for the better... i'll learn and breathe.

reflective night. don't worry girls, i am back in one piece.

i am glad that i walked by myself.