i came into medical school, knowing that school will be intense, but I was ready for the challenge. As the months passed by, I begin to realize that school work isn't too hard to deal with, but my life become questionable. I began to wonder why I am here, in Vermont... (well, I didn't have much of a choice, but it is still a school that I really like.)

I have to say that I am extremely homesick right now, and home is not anywhere in the US now. It's even farther away... I thought Vermont-California or Vermont-Taiwan wouldn't make too much of a difference. They are both so far. What's the difference with another few thousand miles apart? Relatively, it wouldn't make that much of a difference. I was wrong. It is a pretty big difference. Physically speaking, the distance is quite far and the times are quite different. Communication becomes harder... And, in the back of my mind, I KNOW that it's impossible to go home even if I take a whole week off from school... Just flying takes 2 entire days, plus the time spent in the airport for connection and all the related things, and the time difference... It's unlike flying back to CA...at least the change is not that drastic.

The intensity of school is dampening my passion for life... I feel like as if I am losing the human touch to life, which makes me really sad. I really want that feeling to come back to me.

My mom moved back to Taiwan all by herself, and I wasn't even there to send her off. I wasn't there for her when she felt really upset.

I couldn't go to Taiwan to visit my friend who passed away....

And I can't be home right now to be w/ grandma who's at the hospital.

but this is life, right? I just have to learn how to deal with it...