Last night, after completing the first draft of my CV, I was in a self-pitying mood... I kept myself busy during the day only to realize at night that I was just trying to fill the emptiness in my heart. :-/. 原來把自己弄得那麼忙只是想把內心感到的空虛感給填起來 只可惜現在這個洞是個無底洞...

why do i feel this way? why do i feel so lifeless and bored when i leave the hospital setting? does that show me how "boring" and how much of a "workaholic" i am? :-/. there is no stimulus outside of the medical world? i doubt... it makes me worried for myself. am i turning into someone that i vowed never to become? :-/. what happened to the Pei who appreciated the tiny things in life? a small piece of snowflake floating in the air, a squirrel running up and down the tree, a bird singing in the morning, the sun shininig through the fluffy clouds, the feeling of being loved... where are those things?

sigh... i hope i can find them back in my life again...