So my apartment hunt has come to an end. I should know for sure what the verdict will be regarding my apartment on Monday.



Aside from the apartment hunting, I got to spend some time with a couple new friends! For the last few nights, we have been learning or re-learning some mystical creatures through Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was almost a back to the past into my high school era.



Then, I got to see Caroline! God, it is so nice to catch up with an old friend from back in college. We found out that law school and med school have many similarities and shared common frustration. It's nice to have her around in Boston. :)



On my walk from Harvard Square to Meg's place, I thought about sacrifices that people make in their lives and why they make them. When you make a sacrifice, you give up something in exchange for something else that you value, love, or feel more obligated to, I think, at least at that point in time. You may or may not agree with the decision later, but that's another story. I made my sacrifices, chose the environment that I like better, and gave up on the place where it is closer to family. It may sound quite selfish to choose this over family... but it doesn't mean that I value less or love less of them. I suppose that I feel more obligated at this point of my life to pursue my career, to learn as much as I possibly can, so that in the future, I may be able to help as many people as I am destined to... and to find my personal happiness, and the goal of my life.



But given the fact that I am also somewhat of a perfectionist, maybe not a ~100% type of a perfectionist, but I think I am at least a good 90% type. I can only do so much since there is only 1 of me. I have decided to give it to my work and my family. There is nothing else that I can spare... Unfortunately, I will have to ultimately give something for that... It sounds cruel, but I think it is the best for all those who are involved. It is again, the selfish me... I don't want to feel guilty anymore. Guilty for not having the same amount of feeling, for not having the energy, for not having the time, for being so stuck-up about a certain things... and it is only going to get worse and not better with June coming up...



I am really sorry.



Hopefully...with time, it will heal.